he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The best revenge is premature balding
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
