accomplished twins. life is a go
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
