Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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