We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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