What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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