I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
