Three words: puerto rican gang bang
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
