Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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