I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i think i just lost a toe
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
