guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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