all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
