I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
