I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
