Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
