the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
