we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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