You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
