Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
