"it" just moved
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
