New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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