I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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