my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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