My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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