I must be too annoying 4 u.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
