butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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