I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
