Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
