I hate your face
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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