I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize