I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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