I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
