I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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