pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
