I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She needs sedatives and a leash
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
