Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
