You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
