She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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