Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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