idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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