I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You ruined the universe
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
