She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
