So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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