He is an equal opportunity slut.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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