is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
