Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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