Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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