we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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