38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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