Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I came so hard my ears popped.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
