I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
