they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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