We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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