My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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