If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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