Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
