i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
