Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
