I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
