So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
