ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
