You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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