Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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