He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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