I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
