i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
