my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
