Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
